🍇 Confessions of a Wine Lover

A 5-Part Series of Sips, Slips, and Self-Inflicted Wine Drama

You could say I know my way around a wine list. I swirl, I sniff, I even say things like “good structure” with a straight face. But even seasoned wine lovers have their moments—and by “moments,” I mean mildly embarrassing, occasionally dangerous, often hilarious encounters with the world of wine.

This five-part series is a celebration of those very moments: the accidental pairings, the mispronunciations, the tasting room disasters. Because for all the prestige and polish of wine culture, the truth is, it’s meant to be enjoyed. And sometimes that enjoyment comes with a splash of humility… and maybe a screwcap.

Welcome to Confessions of a Wine Lover—where the palate is refined, but the stories are usually not.

🍾 Episode 1: The Great Champagne Sabering Debacle

Confession:
I once tried to saber a bottle of Champagne at a dinner party. Indoors. With a bread knife. I nearly took out someone’s eye—and my credibility as a “serious wine person.”

The Story:
It all started with a little too much confidence and a YouTube tutorial. The bottle was chilled (check), the seam located (check), the audience gathered (mistake). I channeled my inner sommelier-ninja, slid the knife up the neck—and BOOM—cork, glass, and my pride went flying in three different directions. There was a loud pop, a small scream, and a very shocked guest holding their wine glass like a shield.

No injuries, thankfully. Just a slightly sticky floor and a lot of nervous laughter. But the bubbles? Still divine. Even if half of them ended up on the ceiling.

Takeaway:
Sabering is best left to professionals, open fields, or at the very least, backyards. Bread knives do not count as sabers. And while Champagne may forgive, your guests might not forget.

Wine Pick:
Champagne Pierre Gimonnet & Fils Cuis 1er Cru Brut NV

Crisp, citrusy, and elegant—with enough complexity to distract from any failed sabering attempts. A crowd-pleaser that deserves a proper opening… preferably with a wine key and a calm hand.

Cost: $55