As a child you wonder what you will be when you grow up… a doctor, a fireman, a flight attendant, a princess, a writer. At different points in my childhood, I wanted to be all of them. What stuck with me most was being a writer. I was constantly writing short stories and poems usually about very sappy stuff. Writing was not going to give me the life I wanted to enjoy so I went another route.
When I turned 40, I had a bit of a “what am I doing with my life?” conversation with myself and reevaluated what I think I am good at… and how or even if I could apply that to my new 40-something life I was planning to live. I was single, still young at heart, I was at the peak of my physical fitness – fitter than when I was 20-something and worked out religiously, so I never really thought about my food intake. I knew I was good at my job, but I needed more. It took a while to realize I was actually very good at eating and drinking and then talking about it. I have always been the go-to person for most people in my company and with friends of where to dine out. This brought me back to thinking about writing again and what better thing to do than to write about food and wine, something I absolutely love to do.
10+ years into writing my blog, which I love doing, I realized the weight had gone up, the exercise had slowed, and my physical peak is no longer a peak, it’s more of a trough, a very deep trough. Life in quarantine and living my entire life at home – not being able to go to a gym has not helped this decline at all. I work all the time and when I am not working, I want to relax, have a glass or three of wine and think about food. I am very thankful to be able to dine out a little bit, but again, not helping the weight.
This past week while looking through long forgotten clothes I loved to wear, I came to the conclusion that I can no longer bear the thought of clothes two sizes bigger and ignoring all of the wonderful clothes I am too scared to try on from my own closets. Maybe that is the real reason I write and talk about shoes so much – they will always be a size five or now we know the truth, more like a 4.5.
I have said it before, but it really is time (again) for action. I know the answer is exercise more and eat less, but that is much easier said than done as anyone who has ever dieted in their life knows all too well. I really do like dining out; I love being social and prefer the company of friends rather than staying in on my own. Although, there is a lot to be said for a Law & Order SVU marathon with pasta and wine.
Four weeks ago, I started Weight Watchers and have honestly been loving it. I think it is more about that in a time of zero control of our futures, it is something only I can control. If I want a glass of wine, I can have one. If I want dessert, I can have it. I have set my “realistic” goals for myself and now need to start making good trade-offs. My scales are going in the right direction and while it is slowing down, which can make me feel frustrated, it’s good. This is not going to be easy trying to balance “dieting” with the life I love to live.
How did you do it?
