Tipping is a funny thing, isn’t it? In America, most of the service industry relies on tips—waitstaff being the most common example, I think. The thing is, tipping here is expected, no matter if the service is stellar, mediocre, or downright abysmal. I am the ultimate over-tipper, but sometimes I wonder why on earth I should tip for poor, eye-roll-worthy service. I get that everyone has bad days, but should that be taken out on the customer? I think not.
These days, the standard tip is 20%, but I’m starting to see 25% and even 30% creeping in for “very good service.” That’s a lot of percentage! Not that I’m against it—far from it—but I do take issue with bad service and an unshakable expectation of a tip. Am I wrong here? That said, despite my internal debates, I don’t think I have ever actually stiffed a server, though I’ve certainly talked a big game about it.
Take, for example, the time I was at a restaurant in Boston with friends. Our waitress was not just bad—she was aggressively rude, like she had a personal vendetta against us for daring to exist. We all agreed she deserved a measly tip, if any. And yet, when the bill came, what did we do? We left her 20%—a completely undeserved $40 on a $200 tab. We’re basically enablers.
Then there was the time my friend Colette and I went for Italian in the North End. Our waitress was so dismissive and unhelpful that we felt bold and left only 10%. It was a proud, defiant moment… until she chased us down Hanover Street demanding the rest. She was terrifying. I’d love to say we stood our ground, but honestly, I think we caved and gave her another 10%. Survival instincts kicked in.
So, why am I talking about tipping? Because in the UK, tipping just isn’t a big thing. It’s happening more these days, but certainly not at the same level as in the US. There’s no expectation to tip at a regular bar or restaurant. And yet, I do it anyway.
Last week, I was having lunch with my family in Manchester. We were ignored for ages, and when the waitress finally showed up, she acted like we had personally ruined her day just by being there. I turned to my sister and muttered, “She’s getting a terrible tip.” My sister, without missing a beat, said, “You don’t have to tip her at all.” What a revelation! A world where bad service = no tip? My mind was blown. And yet… I still left her a tip. I just can’t help myself!
On the flip side, I took my family to a pizza restaurant—think Pizza Hut vibes—and the waitress was an absolute gem. She was friendly, patient with the kids, and checked in on us without being intrusive. The bill was about £100, so I left her £10. My family thought I was nuts. But anyone who can handle a table full of adults, teenagers, and children (read: my loud, chaotic family) and still be smiling by the end of it? That’s tip-worthy.
And then—get this—she chased us down the street to return the money, thinking I had left it by mistake. When I told her it was for her, she nearly cried. “I can go out with my friends tonight!” she said, genuinely touched. That moment alone was worth the £10. My family just laughed and said, “You are so American.” Well, if being generous to someone who was good to me and my family makes me American, I’ll take it.
Still, I don’t think I could ever not tip in America, even for bad service. But the thought does cross my mind now and then… What do you think?
I am the same, I always leave a tip no matter how bad the service. I cant help myself.,
I think you are foolish. I have no problem tipping 5-10% if the service is bad. However, what I usually do is ask another member of the staff if they can send over the manager before leaving. Tipping someone 10% because they’ve not done their job doesn’t necessarily help them get better or understand what they’ve done wrong. It probably just makes them think you are cheap. Having a frank 2-minute discussion pointing out (dispassionately – I might add) with specifics what the waiter did or did not do allows that person the opportunity to help correct the behavior so future patrons don’t suffer the same experience.