Why, you ask? Because I can’t high-five to save my life. Sure, I understand the concept—smack someone else’s hand with your own. Simple, right? Not for me! I look like a complete buffoon every time I try. Twice this week alone, people attempted to high-five me, and both times, I ended up looking like a total plonker. There’s something about that sudden hand raise that sends my stomach plummeting as I think, “Oh no, they want to high-five me.” In my head, I imagine myself pulling it off like a cool pro. But in reality? It’s more like a train wreck in slow motion.
The first high-five fail happened when I told someone my age, and they excitedly exclaimed, “Oh my god, me too!” before raising their hand for a celebratory smack. High-fiving the fact that I’m a 40-something woman? Really? Not only that, but when I went to return the gesture, I completely missed and nearly smacked them in the face. Then there was the second time when someone congratulated me on a job well done. I thought they were going for a handshake, but nope, it was a low high-five. So, naturally, I went in for a handshake instead. Cue the most awkward moment between me and a very young male consultant. Let’s just say my hand ended up heading somewhere it definitely shouldn’t have.
Look, I just don’t get the high-five, and frankly, I’m not a fan. Back in England, we’re not exactly a nation of high-fivers, but here in America, it’s practically the national handshake. Thinking the same thing? High-five. Did a good job? High-five. Won a game? High-five. Did a shot? High-five. The list is endless! Honestly, I think the real reason I dislike it is that I’m just mortified every time I try and fail to pull off that simple hand-to-hand smack. That’s the true story behind my high-five aversion. 🙂
